I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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