honey bunches of taint.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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