I think my fart just growled at me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
