The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
