exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
