I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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