32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
