so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
