My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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