This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize