There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
