Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
