They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize