I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
