Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
