so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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