What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
