just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
