And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
