im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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