Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
