the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
