I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
