He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am naked and annoyed.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
