She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
