Jerry, you need to find god
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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