I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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