so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
