found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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