If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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