I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
