I am full of burrito and curiosity
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
