At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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