That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
