based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
