He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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