Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize