i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
