That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
