So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
