I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize