arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
