Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
