Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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