I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
