Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
