I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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