Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
