She is in my trunk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
