dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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