the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
