Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
