After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
