real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Boobs speak an international language.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
