It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
