i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
3pm strippers are depressing
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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