My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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