I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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