his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
