even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The power of my boobs compel you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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