benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
